Boy, have I missed you. The stress levels in my life right now are off the charts, and I really needed this time to focus on me and just write. I started college this fall, and things have not gone well for me. Living at school has contributed to me developing mental health issues, worsening my anxiety, and developing depression. As for classes, I have been doing well in most (curse you, Microeconomics!), and have been loving the conservative business aspect of my school.
Unfortunately, the negatives have outweighed the positives, and I will not be returning to this university next semester. After talking with my physician, parents, friends, and Jarod, we have concluded that the best bet for me would be to commute to and from school. I will also be transferring colleges because my current school is too far from home to commute to. I will however, be graduating from my current university in three years, after completing a 3 + 1, doing three years at community college and one at the university.
After going through all of these issues, I have learned a few key things. The first thing is that there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed if you face mental health issues. I felt so pathetic having to go to the doctor because I was unable to rationalize my fears and keep my moods in check. I had noticed that I was moodier than ever, I napped constantly, and was afraid of everything, and no matter what I did, I could not control it and I was falling into a downward spiral. It took a lot for me to admit there was a problem, and I was very embarrassed. My mother, sister, and boyfriend actually noticed the issue first hand and set up an appointment to talk to my family doctor. She then put me on medication and told me I had to go to counseling.
This brings me to my second point, utilize free counseling at university!!! I was beyond irritated and embarrassed that I had to go to therapy, and I put off scheduling an appointment as long as I could. I finally went and was dreading it, when in reality, I am so grateful I went and I have another appointment this week! It is so nice to have someone to talk to, especially when you’re away from home. My counselor is so nice, and she is understanding of all of the things I struggle with, and as a matter of fact, she has faced some of these issues herself, so she can relate to them as well.
My last point is that in any issues, lean on God. I never was one to preach the Bible before I left for college. I’ve always been Christian, but being at school has strengthened my faith. I realized that I cannot make it on my own without Him, and since that realization, I have been trying to spread God’s love through my actions so that they may also be at peace, and have God to lean on. My current favorite verse that I want to leave with you all is found in Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. Keep this verse in mind as you are filled with doubt, worry, or sadness, and give it all up to God because he will never let you break.